How a Song Gets Edited
I am back from my week of song workshopping, brimming with ideas after receiving piles of great feedback and suggestions. I don’t usually spend much time editing my songs, and this week gave me a lot of food for thought about that.
The initial act of writing is often a catharsis for me, giving me some emotional release or boost of happiness. The act of sharing a song with other people isn’t just about me, though, and this week’s workshops reminded me that my job as a songwriter is to write songs that connect with other people. That means not just writing what feels true and therapeutic for me, but figuring out how to best share the story and make other people feel something when they hear it.
How does a songwriter do that? There are more ways than I can possibly list, and also as many exceptions as there are rules, but here are some of the things I learned this week that made my songs more powerful.
Say “I” when you mean “I.”
I learned I have a tendency to use the pronoun “you” when I’m writing about myself in songs, which I now see puts a distance between me and the story I’m sharing - it’s a mask I’m hiding behind. I changed the lyrics of two of my songs this week to use “I” instead of “you.” I think the edit made the songs more emotional and also clarified the story for the audience - when I was saying “you” the listener had to figure out if I was speaking to them, or if it’s a universal you, or some other character in the story. “I” is clear, and clear is good.
ORIGINAL
You can’t bear to talk about it
Tell a story wrapped round two
A story not just starring you
You are obliterated through and through
EDIT
I can’t bear to talk about it
Tell a story wrapped round two
The tale of almost losing you
I am obliterated through and through
Use the song structure people expect.
I can be guilty of writing songs without a chorus, or even “through-composed” songs in which each section is different from the last. In popular music in this day and age that is not what an audience is expecting, and without the familiarity of a structure their ear can recognize, listeners have to think hard rather than simply enjoying and connecting to the story.
I have a new song I really love. It has no bridge. It goes:
Verse
Chorus
Verse
Chorus
Verse
Chorus
Verse
I shared it for the first time last week at an open mic with the other songwriters, and I lost people’s attention as I sang it. Our ears get bored with that much repetition, and I felt it happen in real time. I decided right on that stage to rewrite the song by changing the third verse to a bridge to break up the monotony and offer the musical equivalent of a palate cleanser.
Listen to your gut.
If there is a line you feel embarrassed about, that you mumble through in performance or always have a weird feeling about, rewrite it. That’s your artistic voice telling you the line isn’t good enough.
This advice was offered just hours before our end of week showcase, when I was preparing to sing a song I hadn’t brought to any of the workshops. A little alarm bell went off in my mind; I knew there were four lines in this song I didn’t like singing. I decided then and there to scrap those lines and write new ones for that evening’s performance. Will this be the final version of the song? I’m not sure, but I know I felt a lot better singing the new lines than the original ones.
ORIGINAL
Guess I gotta learn the hard way
Control is just a fool’s game
Every time I try to pin her down
She smiles and she walks away
Guess I gotta learn the hard way
Control is just a fool’s game
Every time I try to pin her down
She laughs and she flies away
EDIT
Guess I gotta learn the hard way
Control is just a fool’s game
Every time I try to pin it down
Fate has the final say
Guess I gotta learn the hard way
Control is just a fool’s game
Every time I try to pin it down
The bottom drops away
I can get precious about my songs - oh there’s no chorus but I like it that way. I can get cocky about my songs - I write a pretty mean rhyme without a lot of effort. But this week I was reminded that the most important job of any song is to make people feel something. My slick rhymes aren’t any good if they tell a vague story. My lack of chorus doesn’t make my song sophisticated or unique, it withholds the dramatic release a listener is waiting for.
My final takeaway? Take the time to edit every song. There is always something to be improved, and when the rare song comes out perfectly formed, there will be no harm in looking it over with a critical eye to be sure I’ve done the absolute best I can to make people feel something.
xo
Shannon
Upcoming Shows
July 16 from 3-6pm Cobourg Public Library Book and Bake Sale.
Whitney O’Hearn is joining me for this - woohoo!!
July 19 Campfire Songcircle at Westben. For details and to RSVP click here.
August 2 5-7:30pm - Join me on the Black Cat patio (Cobourg)
August 31 2:00pm - Common Ground Festival (Headwaters Farm)
Featured Song - Better in the Dark
This song follows the standard pop song structure to a tee…maybe that’s why it’s a fan favourite at shows…